Follow me?

This morning I was reading John 13. Jesus is talking to the disciples & trying to describe what was about to happen. In hindsight, it seems clear what he was trying to communicate, but the disciples had a different mindset, so they couldn't really comprehend what he was talking about. Jesus was trying to tell them about what they should expect.

In verse 36, Peter asks, "Lord, where are you going?" Jesus replied, "You can't now follow me where I'm going. You will follow later."

It's interesting that the same words that Jesus uses here are the same words used he used to call Peter in Matthew 4, "Follow me". In that instance Peter laid down his nets & followed Jesus. This was a huge change for this man, but it was an outward change. He changed his habits & daily activities. We see that he swore oaths & allegiances to Jesus that he broke miserably. After he denied Christ for the 3rd time & heard the rooster, he was a shattered man. He had vowed to follow Jesus even unto death & he had come to the end of himself.

I continue to struggle to understand Jesus' upside down rules. The last will be first or you must lose your life to truly gain it. But as Peter found out, Jesus doesn't love us more when we seem like we have everything together, he loves us most when we are at our lowest. When our lives have been shattered by failure.

In Matthew 4, Peter was ready to follow Jesus, but not all the way to the cross. It was commitment that was based on the five senses. What he experienced with Jesus made him want to follow. Jesus said in John 13, you're not ready to follow me where I'm going. It was a statement that caught Peter off guard. He was a little indignant & was probably hurt by the declaration.

The things that prepared Peter for what was to come was perspective & most importantly, the Holy Spirit. Peter's paradigm shifted after the death & resurrection of Jesus. He originally thought that he would help govern an earthly Kingdom with Jesus someday, but that's not what Jesus intended. He realized that his journey was not leading him where he originally planned, & he was at peace with that.

How many times in my life have I wanted something & God has said, "Not yet. You're not ready." Doesn't God know who I am or what I have planned? Doesn't he understand that I have big plans & there are things that I want to see done? Sometimes I have to understand that I am not ready for the next leg of the journey just yet, that God is doing something in or around me that I don't yet understand.

All of my vows or oaths are in vain because I don't have the power to fulfill them. But when I come to the end of myself, I am in perfect position to receive from the Holy Spirit & through him I am able to follow.

Who are you following & are you ready to follow wherever the journey may lead?