The text book definition of insecure is...
1. anxious or afraid; not confidant or certain
2. not adequately protected
3. unstable or shaky
Insecurity can cause us to be shy, paranoid, or withdraw from social situations. It can also cause aggression, arrogance, or even bullying.
I was reading about the life of King Saul this week and to say that Saul was insecure is like saying that the elephant man had some puffiness around the eyes. He personified the definition of insecure. He was plagued by it from the moment Samuel sprang the news about his upcoming coronation.
1 Samuel 9:2 says that Saul was a good looking guy and that he was literally head and shoulders above everyone else. In 1 Samuel 9:16, God says the Saul will "deliver them(Israel) from the hands of the Philistines."
God looked at Saul & saw something incredible, but Saul didn't see himself this way. When told that he would be the king that Israel had been requesting, Saul replied in 1 Samuel 9:21, "Am I not a Benjaminite, from the least of the tribes of Israel? And is not my clan the humblest of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why then have you spoken to me in this way?" He's saying, who do you think I am? I'm just a normal guy from the smallest clan of the smallest tribe in Israel. I can't be used, so why are you even talking to me about this?
The first thing Saul did, was come up with reasons why he couldn't be used. He didn't dare dream about what could be, because he was too bound up by insecurity to see that the God of the universe wanted to use a normal guy for extraordinary purposes.
You would think that he would work through his issues pretty quickly, but the pressure of being king got to him even before he was crowned. On the day of his coronation, no one could find Saul. They looked everywhere for him & when they didn't know what else to do, they asked God. 1 Samuel 10:22 says, So they inquired again of the LORD, "Is there a man still to come?" and the LORD said, "Behold, he has hidden himself among the baggage."
Saul felt so inadequate to do the job that was facing him, that he hid in the baggage. I find it ironic that even today we still hide in the baggage. "I can never do that, God. Don't you know that I've been hurt? I can't be a minister, I have a past. I could never be a part of that, everyone will be looking at me." The list of excuses goes on and on and our pile of baggage in which we can hide gets bigger and bigger with each passing day.
Often times, the people that God wants to use most are the ones who feel the most inadequate. Proverbs say that God resists the proud, but gives favor to the humble. There is a difference between humility & insecurity. Insecurity focuses on my weakness. Humility admits weakness but focuses on the strength of God. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God told Paul that, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Did you hear that? God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. God knows I'm weak. He created me, but He wants me to understand that when I am weak I am in perfect position to do what God wants me to do. Then I can't take the credit for it & He gets all the glory.
If God is asking you to do something, He's not asking you to do it on your own. He wants to do the work through you. He is stable and He is a covering of protection over you.
What baggage are you hiding in today? Will you let God rescue you from it & put you back in the position He desires. He doesn't see you as a failure, he sees you as redeemed. Will you dare to see yourself the same way He does?
